Stepping into Brokenness: "I want a smooth and straight path"

I wrote a song last night. Not really a song, but it was just a whole lot of words, phrases. They just came to me. I kinda of feel like they've been lingering around in my brain. It took ten minutes to write them all down. It was weird. I put music to them today. It's not the best, but after some work, I think it has potential.

I left the counselor's office a little while ago. It went well, I didn't get much time today, but what time I did have was really great. She's an objective mediator/advisor. Everyone needs counseling. If you think you do, you do. If you think you don't, you REALLY do. haha. It's great.

I've changed the way I do things. I've added a few things to my schedule, but good things. I begin AND end my day with either writing in my journal, which is all just prayer, or reading scripture. I've realized that not EVERY time with God has to be a tear jerking, "come to Jesus" moment. I can simply learn something that God has to teach me or be reminded of the examples of godly people in the Bible or a story that I will relate to that day. I don't have to really hugely be affected by that short time and weep and be drained the rest of the day. It's like coffee with a best friend. Sometimes you just talk about life, the little things, not necessarily having deep deep conversation and crying on each others' shoulders. Something that I've known for a while, but hardly ever practice: Every thing you do, every thought you think, or word you say... all of it should be an act of worship. Proverbs 3:6 says, "In all your ways, acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight." What a blessing! A straight path! I don't have to wander around aimlessly... My road's not bumpy or rocky or worse, pothole infested. When you're in constant communion with Him and every act, everything you do, you consider an act of worship, how could anything you do or say be malicious, degrading, condescending, or selfish? That sad part of this amazing bit is that in order to make every act, one that is worship, we must be apart from our selves. We're so geared towards putting ourselves on the throne in our hearts, serving ourselves, making our lives easier. Our inherent nature is not to constant serve the God who created us. Our sin nature prohibits us from easily communing with our Lord. I'm broken and need rescuing every minute of every day. I know this, but don't remember it all the time. Some how my pride gets the best of me and I feel that I can pull myself out of a sticky situation... or protect myself. God is ALWAYS in control and ALWAYS knows it. It astounds me how quickly we forget that. It makes me wonder if our subconscious does it on purpose. We want to control.