it's cold. I just sneezed... only one though... hmm.. yeah i can feel my limb and digits stiffening as it gets colder. I'm in the work room (computer room) at my parents' house. I have no clue why it's so freezing downstairs... it's terrible. whew. i'm kinda shivering. anyway... oh wow. LIFE. what is it? weeeooowooowweeeewoooweeeoooweeoooweeeooo.. i don' t even know. haha try to say/sing what i just typed... it makes me laugh. I'm wearing jeans, a tank top, a reg. shirt, and a sweat shirt... and flip flops... haha. I can't feel my toes. I need regular shoes... one that an intelligent person would wear in the winter.. i know it's not winter quite yet, but right now it feels like i'm in the dead of winter in siberia... but it's only the work room... the lonely work room with flourescent lights. ehk. i can hear the ice falling in the ice maker in the kitchen... i can hear the other computer next to me make noise...

I just found out last night that my Ex boyfriend goes to Ranger School in a few days. That's a big deal. I know it will be really challenging. I pray for him. I kind of wish I could just say hey to him and give him a word of encouragement. I still care about him as a person. I haven't talked to him in over a month i think. It's been good learning to be me. It's been refreshing. I miss the closeness of our relationship, but I value my time with me and my time with God more. It's special to have someone care about you with the intensity he did. It made me feel good. For now though, I have one soul that cares about me and loves me and pursues me everyday. Sometimes I ignore him. I feel bad. I know I shouldn't. I don't want to. What's interesting is that the more i make time for christ, the more I want to make more time for Him. The more time I want and feel I need to spend time with him. It's awesome. I just need to be consistent.

Random thought: I like typing when my fingers are cold. For some reason I feel I can type faster. Is that weird? If so i'm glad. Someone told me I'm a dynamic person. I had to think back to highschool when i learned what that meant. I felt stupid at first, but then remembered that I learned that a dynamic character in a story is one that is changing, or learning from something. One that is growing. I got excited. :) I'm dynamic and rapturous. hehe.. I'm enjoying these words. I enjoy learning new words and finding out more about myself. Cuz i'm still finding me. But it's fun. okay, well, My fingers are typing efficiently, but I won't be driving home efficiently if I don't go now...

oh wait. I forgot... my laundry. AHK! dangit. I hate not having laundry machines. poo. ok it's either go to sleep here and do it in the morning, or go home and do it tomorrow at sam's house. I wanna see my family tomorrow but don't really know what they'll be up to. I think I might stay... I just need to find some socks... and my sweat pants... which I lost here two weeks ago. haha. alright. going to look for my sweat pants. and socks and more blankets. burrrr (((><)))