Charlie

I feel odd. The majority of my friends that I started college with, are either engaged or married. ANOTHER one of my best friends got engaged last night. I'm in no rush to get married. It's just weird. It's like there's a different stage in life just kind of circling above me waiting to dive in and swoop me into its talons. We'll call him Charlie. haha. and above Charlie is my Lord, he's the puppeteer... controlling Charlie, holding him off until the time is right. I kinda feel like I'm stuck. I want to move on and be done with school and start a life without being in school and working low paying part time jobs. Although, there's a season for everything. (Ecclesiastes 3) I know that this is what I'm supposed to be doing right now. Living paycheck to paycheck, stretching every penny. I'm good at that now. I've learned to deal with it. I know God's got something that He's doing with me right now, whether it's something I'm learning or something He's having me do.

The other day, I realized that I may have moved on a bit in the grieving process. I'm actually genuinely, in my heart, excited that my mother is dancing with the King. Lately, God's been giving me tiny tastes of the wonderful Heaven that we're promised. He has been for a long time. Only recently, have I paid attention. I like to think about what that guy said in "90 Minutes in Heaven". He says that in Heaven, he heard all the worship songs ever all being sung at once, all in accord, and he felt the peace and emotions of all of the songs all at once also. How overwhelming. That alone makes me excited and even more at peace than before. Before, I knew that my mother was having a party up there, but it didn't ring true in my heart. I didn't FEEL okay with that. I KNEW in my head that she was in a better place and I was jealous. Now, I FEEL that, and yeah, I'm a little jealous, but I don't think about only that and how long it will be until I can leave this place. I'm totally focused on what God has going on for me right now, on Earth. I eagerly await the day when He comes to take us home, or when I get to go meet him; but I'm glad that I'm here trying to glorify with my life. I don't know if any of this makes sense. It does to me. Alrighty, off to grocery shopping, crafting, cooking, cleaning, laundry, and then... partying! WOO! Merry Christmas!